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Self-Care Sunday is supposed to be the holy grail of restoration, a slow, soothing day to refill your empty tank. But here’s the harsh truth: if you’re approaching it with guilt, pressure, or capitalist-driven performative rituals that don’t actually meet your needs, it can leave you more drained than recharged.
Let’s call out the traps and shift into something that feels like real care: messy, nourishing, and actually helpful.
Here are 3 major traps to avoid and what to do instead.
Trap #1: Trying Random Self-Care Activities Without Knowing What You Actually Need
One of the biggest mistakes people make on self-care Sunday (formerly myself included) is randomly choosing activities instead of intentionally selecting what their mind, body, and soul require to recharge in that moment¹. Because doing face masks when what you really need is a nap isn’t self-care, it’s self-avoidance dressed up with lavender-scented bubble bath (more on this in my book).
What to Do Instead: Learn The 6 Self-Care Types
Taking care of yourself isn’t about bubble baths and face masks; it’s about specifically targeting your care to what you’re in need of. There are 6 core types of self-care²:
- Physical (exercise, sleep, nutrition)
- Emotional (journaling, therapy, processing emotions)
- Mental (learning, reading, problem-solving)
- Spiritual (meditation, prayer, connecting with nature)
- Social (quality time with loved ones, setting boundaries)
- Professional (organizing your workspace, setting career goals)
How to fix it:
Care isn’t supposed to feel like another thing you have to get right. Let’s take the pressure off and bring the fun back. Before jumping into your care activity, take a quick moment to slow down, pause, and check in with yourself. Tune into what you need in that moment by using this small ritual:
Check-In Ritual
- Take your hand and gently place it over your heart.
- If it feels safe, close your eyes and take three deep breaths into the low belly.
- Ask yourself out loud: “What do I truly need today?”
- Wait for several seconds for the answer to surface; do not rush it.
- Listen carefully to the response from your body, thoughts, and emotions.
- With your answer and intention, now choose a practice that meets your need:
- Emotionally drained? Try journaling or doing some breathwork.
- Anxious or Restless? Go for a walk, do some light stretching, or yoga.
- Mentally overwhelmed? Take a digital detox (take the day off of social media) or try meditating³.
By taking this small pause to check in before you begin, you bring self-awareness into your practice, which ensures you are making it restorative⁴.
Trap #2: Making Self-Care a Chore Instead of a Joy
If these activities feel like another item on your to-do list, something to tick off… it defeats the entire purpose. These practices should be something you look forward to on Sunday, knowing that they are helping you show up for yourself and your needs.⁵.
What to Do Instead: Find What Actually Brings You Joy
Not all care needs to be productive. We often get caught in the capitalist trap of thinking we need to “do” something in order to feel good about ourselves. We find ourselves acting as human “do”ing’s instead of human “be”ing’s.
Some people love practicing meditation or journaling; others feel more rejuvenated by watching a childhood movie or having a dance party in their pajamas around the house (me for sure).
How to fix it:
Instead of searching for ideas each Sunday or defaulting to practices that feel forced and like they “should” do them, try creating a “Dopamine Menu”.
This is one of my favorite tools to use as it is filled with activities that genuinely light me up! This list, once you create it, will become your go-to guide for easy choices for what will truly nourish you⁶.
What is a Dopamine Menu?
A dopamine menu is a personalized list of activities that recharge you. That means when it’s time to take care of yourself, you won’t default to quick-fix distractions or commercialised care activities that leave you feeling worse⁷.
It’s about swapping shoulds for want-to’s. Because true nourishment comes from what lights you up, not what looks good on Instagram.
How to set up your Dopamine Menu
Think of it like a meal (yum):
🍽 Appetizers (Small Mood Boosts) → These are small, quick mood boosters that take less than 5 minutes to complete but can make a big difference. (Ex: going outside for fresh air, lighting your favorite candle, completing a 5-minute yoga YouTube video, or maybe even playing your hype up song and dancing around).
🥗 Entrées (Deep Nourishment) → These are more immersive activities that leave you feeling deeply nourished and take more than 15 minutes to complete. (Ex: In-depth journaling, reading, going for a long walk outside, practicing some painting, or doing a hobby you love).
🍟 Sides (Supportive Extras) → These are activities that act as enhancements or complements to what you’re already doing to make your experience even better. Think of these as an add-on to your life (Ex, snuggling up with a cozy blanket while reading, making your workspace more aesthetic, playing fun music during chores, using some diffusing essential oils, enjoying a delicious cup of tea while working).
🍰 Desserts (Quick Distractions – In Moderation)→ These are your low-effort dopamine sources that can be pleasurable, BUT should be used mindfully and intentionally. While these are okay in small amounts, overuse of them can lead to us feeling kinda yucky. (Ex. watching Netflix, scrolling social media, and online shopping)⁸.
Your Turn: Build Your Epic Dopamine Menu!
Write out at least:
- 3 Appetizers
- 3 Entrées
- 3 Sides
- 3 Desserts
Psst… Creating your dopamine menu is just ONE of the dozens of tools inside my upcoming journal!! Want first access? Join the waitlist here!
Trap #3: Treating Self-Care Sunday as a One-Day Fix Instead of a Habit
I used to be guilty of treating Sunday care like my end-all be-all “reset button” and then would proceed to completely neglect myself and my wellbeing for the rest of the week… Can you relate?? Eek!
This creates an exhausting cycle where Sunday becomes a Hail Mary recovery attempt from burnout instead of proactive care⁹.
What to Do Instead: Build Self-Care Into Your Daily Life
The most effective care isn’t something you cram into one day; it’s about small, intentional acts woven into your daily routine¹⁰(ugh, how annoyingly true). Instead of waiting for Sunday to “fix” everything, start by adding bite-sized care throughout your week.
BUT, don’t make the mistake of trying to add it all in and do everything at once!! We don’t want to make this overwhelming or unsustainable, as this will likely lead to you stopping. Instead, start small.
Choose one habit to add at a time and let it become a natural part of your daily routine before trying to layer in more.
How to Start Small & Make It Work:
Morning: Instead of scrolling on your phone first thing in the morning, start with 2 minutes of gratitude journaling, or some deep breathing, or slow stretching in bed.
Afternoon: Take a short walk in the fresh air, listen to a new song on Spotify, or enjoy a cup of delicious tea with no distractions.
Evening: Swap a Netflix binge night for a relaxing shower, lighting a soy candle, doing some guided journaling (try one of my sessions below), or reading a new book before bed.
Use Your Check-In Ritual
Pro-Tip: Before choosing your activity each day, take a second to pause and ask yourself:
“What do I truly need right now? Refer to the Dopamine Menu you made to help guide you, and choose an activity that is restorative for you and your needs.
By slowly adding in these activities one at a time, you will create a sustainable practice, one that doesn’t feel forced or like a Self-Care Sunday one-off, but a natural part of your life.
As a reminder, this check-in ritual and habit-building technique are only a few of the powerful tools inside my new journal! Join the waitlist below to get first access!
Final Thoughts
Self-care isn’t an Instagram highlight reel, it’s a relationship. One where you ask yourself what you need and actually listen. The magic isn’t in the big Sunday ritual, it’s in those tiny, daily choices to show up for yourself. That’s where the real healing starts.
The key is to check in with yourself each day in order to build a solid relationship with yourself. One in which you understand what kind of care you truly need, and in doing so, can intentionally choose practices that truly nourish you.
If this post hit you right in the soul, then you need to read my book.
Beyond Bubble Baths & Face Masks is your permission slip to stop performing self-care and actually start living it.
Think: honest stories, bold truths, and zero BS strategies for rest, boundaries, body image, burnout, and more.
This blog post scratched the surface, my book goes all the way!
Available both in paperback and Kindle e-book.
FAQ on Self-Care Sunday
What is Self-Care Sunday?
It is a day dedicated to prioritizing rest, relaxation, and personal well-being. It’s a chance to recharge mentally, physically, and emotionally before the beginning of a new week. These activities could include mindfulness, movement, skincare, journaling, breathwork, nourishing meals, or simply taking time to do what makes you feel joyful.
How do I create a Self-Care Sunday routine?
In order to create your self-care Sunday routine, it’s important to choose activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. It can help to evaluate the 6 types of care found in this blog in order to best assess what you need.
An example of a routine is that you could begin the day with a relaxing morning with some gentle movement like yoga or stretching, followed by some meditation, and then engaging in activities that bring you joy, such as reading, taking a bath, or enjoying a social media digital detox.
Why is Self-Care Sunday important?
Self-care Sunday helps us to reduce our stress levels, improve our mental health, and set a positive tone for our week ahead. It is also a great opportunity to check in with how we’re truly feeling. I recommend using my check-in routine in this blog to accurately get a gauge on how you really are. By dedicating this time to self-care, you can help prevent burnout, increase your productivity, and strike a healthy balance between your work and personal well-being.
Sources
¹Weljii. (2024, November 14). Morning routine: Key benefits, strategies, and importance. https://www.weljii.com/blog/morning-routine/
²Giodella. (n.d.). Rise and shine: My perfect Sunday morning routine. https://giodella.com/sunday-morning-routine/
³ Smyth, J. M., Johnson, J. A., Auer, B. J., Lehman, E., Talamo, G., & Sciamanna, C. N. (2018). Online Positive Affect Journaling in the Improvement of Mental Distress and Well-Being in General Medical Patients With Elevated Anxiety Symptoms: A Preliminary Randomized Controlled Trial. JMIR mental health, 5(4), e11290. https://doi.org/10.2196/11290
⁴ Mars Girolimon, Health. (n.d.). What is self-care, and why is it important for you?. Southern New Hampshire University. https://www.snhu.edu/about-us/newsroom/health/what-is-self-care
⁵Guide to self-care practices and their importance for mental health. Monarch. (2025, March 6). https://monarchnc.org/guide-to-self-care-practices-and-their-importance-for-mental-health/
⁶ Anandpara, G., Kharadi, A., Vidja, P., Chauhan, Y., Mahajan, S., & Patel, J. (2024). A Comprehensive Review on Digital Detox: A Newer Health and Wellness Trend in the Current Era. Cureus, 16(4), e58719. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.58719
⁷ Mahindru, A., Patil, P., & Agrawal, V. (2023). Role of Physical Activity on Mental Health and Well-Being: A Review. Cureus, 15(1), e33475. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.33475
⁸Deel Team. (2023, May 22). Self-development at work: Tips for continuous learning. Deel. https://www.deel.com/blog/self-development-through-continuous-learning/
⁹TalktoAngel. (2022, July 27). Self-care for personal growth. TalktoAngel. https://www.talktoangel.com/self-care-wall/self-care-for-personal-growth
¹⁰ Co, Anne & Ullrich-French, Sarah. (2021). Mindfulness in physical activity. 10.51224/B1014.
¹¹ Merkuri, Lumturi & Kamberi, Fatjona & MIO, Doreada & GABRANI, Jonilda. (2023). Self-care for health and wellbeing – a literature review. Medicus. 7. 41-48. 10.58944/qltp2509.